I discover that the worst my life gets, the less I post. It's just a fact. When things go bad, I curl up and retreat and lose contact with those who share these tenuous internet connections.

I think it's because in the end, I am just unwilling to express how I feel.

I wasn't kidding when I posted a while back, that I was at the end of my rope and had nothing else to hang on with. Well.

What more was there to say? It actually got WORSE from that point on. Just when I thought it could not.

And if you are truly interested, I will let my other half say it for me, because he says it better. Or at least describes it better.

Part the First
Part the Second

I am stretched thin, and weary, and stressed. I too, am out of reserves. I am functioning on autopilot, just to get through the days.

Still, to all of those who offered help....thank you. For those that came...thank you. For those who at least had a thought for us 5 minutes after you read...thank you.

CJ

Just got the battery hooked up, confirmed completely dead battery in van. Our auto jumper isn't strong enough to jump the van. Can't find the fg jumper cables.

Tags: end of the rope, move, van

I am now officially at the end of my rope and the bottom of my pit.

This incident with the horse has depleted what meager funds we had to move. And the bitch of it is, if it had happened a a month, a week, a day earlier, it wouldn't have been a problem. Now...it's a huge cash flow problem. It's not that I don't have a good job that pays well, it's that payday was Thursday, and every bit of money I had plus some I borrowed went to pay for this house that I now cannot move into.

I have very little hope of being able to get loans; I'm maxed out on a payday loan. My parents cannot help. My grandparents cannot help. DSO's parents cannot help. I've already gotten a loan from my boss AND my friend at work to help pay for the deposit on the new house.

Our van is not currently running because of a battery problem. We have very little gas left in the other car, and it's scheduled to go to a new home soon, anyway.

This is a plea, to anyone out there. If you can help us, please let us know. I'm simply out of reserves now, emotionally, physically, financially, spiritually, intellectually. I'm pulling 40+ hour weeks, working Saturdays, riding to and from work on the bus 1.5+ hours each way. I don't know how I'm going to do this without someone helping us.

To get the medicine into the horse, I need a bag of her feed, and I have no money.
To get the van running, I need someone who can help me troubleshoot the battery problem. If I need a new battery, I have no money.
To get to and from the horse pasture to give Baby her medicine, I need gas money for car or van.
To move, I need a van, and some backs to help us move.

I always swore I would never beg, but honest to every god I know, now I'm willing to beg.